In the last two years, I’ve slowly integrated more exercise than I did before my physical crash. I do around 50,000 steps a week, pilates at home once a week, exercise biking a couple of times a week and now swimming every two weeks. The art of rebuilding something as precious as one’s body, and healing the self, reminds me that we must be patient with ourselves, yet never give up. I’m far away from the wheelchair times, and I’m thankful for each phase of the journey.
I recently took a fun, yet challenging trip out to a local shipwreck, “The Mulberry” in Southend on Sea. I hadn’t walked out to this area for years before my crash, and it was on my goal list to see if I could do it.
As you may have seen from another post, as part of my own engineered recovery path I created this vision board a few years back. I just let my feelings guide me to all the things that I wanted to do and have again. Not just my health but my security and purpose in the world, not to mention fun.
At the time of creation I really did think it was pointless and many of these dreams, like getting back to work, being able to kayak, going on a train trip to London, not to mention going on a holiday – seemed like pipe dreams. I was still unable to walk more than around 200metres and I was crippled by pain which made me in an anxious state, also unable to get fully into the healing zone. I’d get a bit better then have another lapse, as there was hardly any room for error, whether it was overdoing it, like unloading the dishwasher, doing the vacuuming in stages, or seeing a friend for a cup of tea, or getting caught in no sleep because of pain or fear of the symptoms.
Something always drove me onward and kept picking me up, and that is the positive part of my mental conditioning. Often our personalities, can be both the cause and the cure for why we end up in a pickle or a life nose dive. This I’ve now learned, and knowing your particular mental conditioning can certainly lead you on the road to sculpting it into something more useful. Equally corroding enough of your solid personality, will allow for your deeper Self – the part that has all the wisdom, power and loving simplicity to take the reigns.
Through a number of qualities I can now say I’ve achieved 90% of what I believed was not possible, despite a deep desire to turn things around, in fact I was growing in new ways, so I didn’t fully register.
I’ve surpassed my walking dream 🚶🏼♀️!!
I used to struggle to stand up, and now I realise things have drastically changed.
On a recent holiday, my husband and I walked a total of 81,802 steps in 6 days, including travelling days! When I worked out the distance, I was shocked that I walked a total of 35 miles across the six days I spent in Spain. If you averaged this out, it meant that I was walking over 5.5miles a day.
Now this coming from someone who couldn’t walk more than 50metres a few years back is impressive.
I can now also walk very quickly up the three flights of seafront steps that I used to see as an impossibility for my future. In fact I’ve even run up them a couple of times. What can I say I wanted to feel like Rocky 🤣 I still have a little high tachycardia on reaching the top, but so do most people, so I’m not sweating the norm, which also continues to shift for me.
Moving toward more and more exercise after being POTS tastic is a great feeling. Everything in our stride. Along with pacing, rest, and a sensible regime you too could transcend your boundaries, and manoeuvre through fatigue.
You wouldn’t even care if you were symptomatic still if you could do the things you love, so keep striving for them!
Here’s to you walking, or swimming, dancing, doing whatever you enjoy again…
I live an hour train ride from London. I used to live there whilst at University during my first degree. I worked there for years, before I was self-employed and I studied there for my Masters degree. I have spent a lot of time there, it’s clear but I haven’t been there for three years since getting ill, until today Aug 24th 2015! She does a little dance…
I planned a short, easily achievable trip for my first time. I chose a good goal, to have lunch with my lovely sister, and at a place nearby the end of my line, Fenchurch Street. St. St Katherine’s docks was the venue, I knew it was a suitable walking distance and now I just waited for a good enough day to go.
It was raining, but hey, less people out to lunch so that’s a bonus! I was a bit fluey, it comes and goes, but I knew it would boost me to go, plus I could rest both ways on the train, little did I know what the universe plants in your way for some kind of weird scnychronistic test. I’ll get to it later!
I felt so elated inside to be riding the train all the way to London. I have been able to do a few train rides now, over the last six months, to nearer stops around where I live. It’s been great feeling my independence again. It’s been a bummer I don’t drive because when I went down into the dark tunnel of ME/CFS, I’ve been dependent on others to get places further afield.
Last year I created this vision board, when I was really struggling on my recovery. I remember finishing it off in December on a day where it hurt just to hold the scissors and turn the pages of the magazine. Now, eight months on, I’ve achieved the majority of goals within this vision. My bum still isn’t quite like the beautiful peach depicted on the board but I continue to work on it. However, I did have some more pressing things to focus on over the year.
I imagine the aspects we want most desire from our hearts, are the things which come to fruition quickest or easiest. The ball really got rolling last Sept/Oct, after a major relapse in August last year. There have still been hard days and weeks. My health is still mending and there remain ups and downs, albeit less extreme, but there has been much change. Here’s a run through in relation to my vision board: Continue reading